Remembering Life and loss...5 years later...

On May 16th 2006 one of the closest people near and dear to my heart was taken from this earth....my life would be forever changed. Brandon Allen Brooks was and is one of the best men to ever walk this earth.

Lets back up to 2006 and the years before. You see at a young age I met Brandon in church. When I got my chance to go youth group early I had no idea I was going to be blessed with some of the best role models ever. Brandon was one of those. We quickly bonded, he became my brother. We joked, we fought, we laughed, we cried, and we talked. When I was 14 I hit hard depression it was one of the hardest years of my life just dealing with my life on a daily basis. He was there from day one. He was there to tell me it will be alright. He was there to tell me I'm worth something. He was everything I needed at the time. He gave me a verse that forever will be a part of my life...song of Solomon 4:7 all beautiful you are my darling there is no flaw in you". Because of that I was able to find myself again.


Now fast forward to the night of May 15th. I was up that night super late. No matter how hard I tried I just couldn't sleep. It wasn't to strange, I mean once my mind gets going it was common I would be restless. However this night I had the urge to right. I had the urge to write to Brandon what he meant to me. I always went to him and thanked him and told him I loved him but I wanted to make sure he knew how much he had meant to be over the last year. It didn't seem to strange I liked to let people know what I felt especially when it touched my heart and my life in big ways. This is what I wrote that night....


What you are to me...
You are someone who loves no matter what.
You are someone who listens before jumping to conclusions.
You are someone that gives advice not demands.
You are someone who really just trys to understand.
You are someone I can talk to without fear.
You are someone who is always near.
I can always count on a hug and smile from you.
I love especially the way you are just you.
Will all these things and more I know I can love and trust you just the way you are.


Remember I was just 14 at the time so my writing skills were not the greatest. But I was getting the points across. Once I wrote this I felt peace and soon after was able to fall asleep.


Now May 16th 2006...The next day...
It was a normal mid summer day. So much so that I don't remember to much of what I did that day. I do however remember the night clearly when I found out that Brandon was no longer hear on earth. By the time Jen got to my house to get me I had pieced what was going on. I knew he was gone but nothing was confirmed. She arrived gave me a huge hug and told me to get in the car (she showed amazing strength to hold it together). She told me we were going to our youth pastors house. At this point I knew what happened and was super tense but until it was confirmed I wouldn't let it out. It was the longest 10min ride of my life. Once we arrived my youth pastor sat me down and Jen sat beside me. I held her hand tight as he told me "Brandon has gone to be with Jesus" My first reaction was pissed..."are you really talking to me like I'm 5 years old right now?" Then he had told me what happened it was then that I broke down. It was officially the beginning of what would forever change my life and the person I would become. At 14 I grew up fast.  How was I going to deal with this? How was I going to accept death at 14. How was I going to get through this when he was the one that was helping me get through everything?

5 Years Later....I'm getting through. I've spent much time with those I love over the years. Doing many things to keep his memory alive. I have a routine every year when the day comes up. Time does heal thankfully but you never forget the one who impacted your life so much at such a young age. I never give up on things because that is what Brandon had instilled in me. Work your hardest and you do anything. I have gone through a lot with his passing and after and I'm able to stay strong because of knowing Brandon. I'm now finishing my A.A.S. degree and working at an amazing job where children steal my heart and make me laugh everyday. I have an amazing boyfriend of 3 years that is my world and has completely accepted all my flaws and my past. He truly is a gift from above and has the biggest heart I've seen in a long time. Life is still life and it has its instability but I still live it everyday to the fullest just the way Brandon did.

I still find myself telling new people I meet about how I lost my brother, my best friend, my mentor, the worlds best man. I tell them how great he was. How lucky I am to have known someone so great. How I don't often cry over his death because his life blessed me so much.



May 16th 2006 was hands down the hardest day of my life thus far....5 years later on this milestone its still one of the hardest days to deal with. I try my best to celebrate his life and now dwell in his death. Brandon was amazing and will always be seen as that way in my heart. His memory lives on and someday when I make it to eternity we will meet together again.